Mike Lindell’s Lawyer Tells Judge Howell Jesus Is Very Disappointed In Her

Hosanna! He is risen! And by “he” we mean William Olson, a far right lawyer who cranks out wackass amicus briefs in support of every conservative fever dream.

Olson, who fanned President Trump’s dreams of staying in office after losing the 2020 election, has waded into the Perkins Coie case. And — surprise! — he thinks that it’s just fine for the government to sanction law firms for being mean to Trump.

The brief begins, as most do, with the Bible.

Oh, you’ve got 504 law firms, 346 former judges, 16 bar associations, 334 solo and small firm lawyers, plus every major civil rights organization in the country?

Well, Olson’s got GOD!

He’s also got Dan Bongino, Andy McCarthy, and the Daily Caller. Boom!

Olson’s client list includes pillow popper Mike Lindell, but today he’s representing a gaggle of also-ran conservative shops you’ve never heard of. America’s Future? Gun Owners Foundation? Gun Owners of America? Conservative mad libs is boring AF!

The brief starts out by lecturing Judge Howell that it was inappropriate for her to decide the government’s motion demanding her recusal:

Although apparently allowed, the same district court judge ruling on this motion violated the maxim nemo judex in causa sua, that no one should be a judge of his own case, a principle drawn from Holy Writ. See, e.g., Proverbs 18:13;
James 2:4; Leviticus 19:15; and Proverbs 24:23.

The word “apparently” is doing a lot of work here.

Obviously Olson is very mad about the Steele Dossier and former Perkins Coie lawyer Marc Elias’s involvement in it, which apparently means that it is never entitled to seek redress in court again: “Perkins Coie has come to this Court seeking to be relieved of the just consequences of its own wrongful actions, and thus comes to court with anything but clean hands, which bars it from any entitlement to equitable relief.”

He makes a bunch of conclusory statements, many of which are contradicted by the plaintiffs’ filings, about the lack of harm to the firm, which has been losing clients daily since the executive order dropped. Then Olsen, whose ideas about presidential authority seem to have calcified in 1971 when he interned in the Nixon White House, explains that actually the president gets to mete out punishment for people who say mean things about him.

Perkins Coie evidences no self-reflection that the Executive Order is an outgrowth of its own demonstrably manipulative activities targeting the speech and candidacy of its clients’ political opponent, namely President Trump himself. Holding entities that engaged in such activity as Perkins Coie did accountable is not retaliation for its speech, but reflects the country’s need for justice and accountability.

Then Olson schools Judge Howell on all the injunctions against the Trump administration, which are definitely not because the president keeps doing wildly illegal shit!

A more reasonable conclusion from this remarkable list is that the lower federal courts are quite unhappy with the candidate for President voted for by 77 million persons (winning the electoral college vote by a margin of 312 to 226), and are working at the behest of Big Law and Democrat state Attorneys General to resist the very changes which the American People elected President Trump to implement on November 5, 2024.

But every cloud has a silver lining. Olson’s Festivus Airing of Grievances has an Appendix (not docketed separately) listing most of the injunctions filed against the administration so far. So at least it’s good for something!

Perkins Coie v. DOJ [Docket via Court Listener]

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she produces the Law and Chaos substack and podcast.

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