Advice For New Grads: Focus On Fit

Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Joy Behan to our pages. Click here if you’d like to donate to MothersEsquire.

At almost 20 years out of law school, that first year as a fledgling lawyer seems a lifetime ago. Looking back, I didn’t even know what I didn’t know. Graduating and taking the Florida Bar in 2007, I entered the market during a major rough patch and was desperate for any position that came my way. I was so eager to start paying back those loans I didn’t pay much attention to the culture of the first firm I joined. 

My classmates and I were focused on what kind of lawyer each of us would be, defined by the type of law we’d practice. I didn’t know what I wanted to do exactly, but I thought I knew what I didn’t want to do. If I could counsel my 25-year-old self I’d say to be patient and pay more attention to the firm culture than the practice area. Law school really doesn’t prepare you for any practice area, so I was just as clueless starting as a civil litigator as I would have been drafting wills and trusts. 

In my haste, I spent the first two years out of law school in a small firm of introverts and supervising attorneys with no time for mentoring; as a clueless extrovert, I was miserable. Even if you are planning to hang a shingle and go solo, a good mentor makes all the difference. Knowing you have someone to ask the big and little questions to without judgment or run strategy by is the ultimate confidence builder. Along the same lines, find your people. You’ll need someone to complain to about your boss and opposing counsel, and someone to listen to your daily stories when your nonlawyer partner’s eyes start to glaze over.

I only lasted two years in that first position, and it was such a poor fit that I didn’t think I would ever practice again. I had just gotten married and wanted to start a family. While I knew most of the attorneys had children, I never saw a photo or even knew their names. My career was important to me, but it wasn’t my entire life and didn’t define me. I wish someone had taken the blinders off me in my 3L year and reminded me of that. 

I next transitioned to working as a law school career services counselor, which was certainly not on my original career path, but my need to connect with people (and not just my keyboard) was fulfilled by meeting with students and collaborating within the department. And the schedule supported my new family. Even in this ideal setting, the culture still wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t exactly family friendly — my boss compared my newborn’s illnesses to her cat’s. This was a lesson in knowing when to step away. While you’ll be expected to put in long hours in any job out of law school and don’t want to be a job hopper, be aware of the signs of burn out, especially if you are starting a family; big billables and sleepless nights with newborns do not make for easy marriages. Walking away from something that isn’t right is not a sign of weakness, but rather acknowledging it will make you a better attorney. 

Once you find your people, put in the work to develop those relationships. The time you give to building a network and staying connected has one of the highest ROI for your career. Those connections will stay with you through pauses and transitions. After a long pause to stay home with my small children, I am now practicing family law. Family law was never on my radar in law school, and yet here I am, happy in a field where I’m drafting and strategizing but also meeting with clients and connecting with colleagues.

Going back in time I would tell myself to think of the big picture and that settling into a culture that doesn’t meet your needs is a recipe for disaster. I was so certain that whatever practice area I started in was like choosing a major in college that I forgot to think about the things I needed to be happy in my work. I needed a mentor (or two or three!) and coworkers who I could get to know and who wanted to get to know me. Those aren’t the same needs for everyone, but consider the culture that will allow you to be happy in the steep learning curve of the first years of practice. 

Joy Behan earned her J.D. from Mercer University School of Law in 2007 before returning to her home state of Florida. She and her family live on sunny Amelia Island, Florida with their Boykin Spaniel, Winifred. When she’s not shuttling her children to activities, Joy balances her passion for both law and travel – practicing family law while also helping clients plan unforgettable journeys as a travel advisor.

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