Quit Acting Like An Angsty Teenager To Build Your Book Of Business

We hit a major milestone in the Fretzin household this week. My only child, Andrew, graduated from high school. To say the road was smooth would be a complete lie. If you’ve listened to my BE THAT LAWYER podcast, you already know that Andrew is full-blown ADHD. That means he’s disorganized, impulsive, and occasionally argumentative. Funny enough, that also describes a few lawyers I’ve worked with over the years.

You might be thinking I’m calling some of you out — and you’re right. The messy workspace, the scattered marketing efforts, and the resistance to sound advice around business development are all too familiar. But if you’re reading this column, there may be hope for you yet. Let me offer three ways to stop acting like an angsty teenager and start building your law practice with more maturity and purpose.

Step 1: Get Organized To Get Started

Look around your office for a moment. Does it reflect a sense of order and professionalism? Or is it closer to a teenager’s bedroom after a weekend of video games and fast food?

For many attorneys, disorganization and poor time management are the biggest roadblocks to business development. It’s not just about tidiness, it’s about being in control of your time, your energy, and your strategy.

One of the best things I ever did for myself was read “Getting Things Done” by David Allen. That book changed everything for me. It’s a playbook for mastering your time and freeing up mental space. And to quote “Tommy Boy,” one of my favorite movies, “You can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull’s ass, but wouldn’t you rather take the butcher’s word for it?” In other words, trust me and read the book. Once I did and actually applied what I learned, the stress, pressure, and time-wasting slipped away like magic. I’m hoping it does the same for you.

Step 2: A Failure To Plan Is A Plan To Fail

I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase before, but it’s worth repeating. Time is money. Wandering around networking events or posting on LinkedIn without a strategy is just spinning your wheels.

Think about this: would you walk into court without knowing the case inside and out? Of course not. So why approach business development without a plan?

Start by asking yourself a few basic but powerful questions:

• Who are my top 50 business relationships, including clients, referral partners, and colleagues?
• How am I showing up for those people and adding value?
• Where is the easiest new business going to come from?
• What professional groups, conferences, or boards are my ideal clients and referral sources attending?
• Do I know any successful rainmakers who might be willing to mentor me?
• What knowledge or skills am I lacking when it comes to marketing and business development?
• Have I watched Steve’s LinkedIn tutorial yet? (If not, it’s waiting for you in my LinkedIn Featured section.)

Planning might not be the most exciting part of your day, but it’s essential if you want results that are sustainable and repeatable.

Step 3: Take Advice To Move Ahead

One of the hardest parts of parenting a teenager is watching them ignore good advice. As parents, we’ve lived more life. We’ve made the mistakes. But we also know when to let go and let them learn. Still, watching the same train wreck play out repeatedly gets old fast.

Lawyers can be the same way. You’re smart, capable, and confident — but that doesn’t mean you know everything. I sure don’t, especially when it comes to plumbing. If I’ve got a leak, I’m calling in a pro. I’m not grabbing a saw and hacking into the ceiling.

So why is it so hard to ask for help with business development? Maybe it feels like something you “should” be able to figure out on your own. But if your billable rate is $500 an hour, can you really afford to spend years figuring it out the hard way?

When I work with lawyers, one of the first things I do is a gap assessment. Nine times out of 10, I find six figures or sometimes millions in missed opportunities. These are smart people who just needed the right plan and support to unlock what was already within their reach.

Start by checking out some free resources like podcasts, videos, and books. If that lights a fire under you, it might be time to explore coaching. Whether it’s with me or one of the many other coaches out there, just be sure you choose someone who fits your goals, your personality, and who’s program will eliminate your BD gaps. Talk to the coaches past clients. Ask tough questions. Make sure the program is built for you.

If you’re tired of being compared to a difficult teenager, then stop acting like one. Get organized. Create a plan. Work with someone who can help you stay accountable and focused. You deserve to build the law practice you want — not just the one you’ve been tolerating.

Steve Fretzin is a bestselling author, host of the BE THAT LAWYER Podcast, and business development coach exclusively for attorneys. Steve has committed his career to helping lawyers learn key growth skills not currently taught in law school. His clients soon become top rainmakers and credit Steve’s program and coaching for their success. He can be reached directly by email at steve@fretzin.com. Or you can easily find him on his website at www.fretzin.com or LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevefretzin/.

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